So sorry you're going through all this and you are hurting...

I cope by coming on here, chatting, writing to other people and perhaps most pointedly: writing... period. Writing it all down and getting it off my chest. I don't necessarily reread it... but I get it out: the fear, the anger, the sadness.

I also do guided meditations on Insight Timer which helps my anxiety.

As for the anger , depression and what feels out of control... I make short daily to-do lists that include something that moves me forward in a positive way... could be making a doctor's appointment, or consulting a lawyer to see my options for something... could be thinking about a mid-to-longer term goal and listing steps to achieve it...

Also, for the anger (and for my lymph system), I've started jumping on a 'rebounder' trampoline. I have 2 ropes on either side so I can hold on to them for stability... that has been helping me cope.

I try to learn new skills such as from the book The Gentle art of Verbal Self-Defense...

Hope some of what I've said helps!

Sending you good vibes and keep posting...