Thanks so much for kindly posting this. I was sort of in the same frame of mind you describe and it took a breakdown and a stint in a psychiatric hospital for me to begin psychiatric medication. Best thing I ever did since I have been 99% free of depression, anxiety and panic attacks for 30 years now. The 1% of breakthrough illnesses are mild and of very short duration. I feel blessed to be one of those people who respond well to medical treatment for mental illness. Like you, I wish I had started medical treatment years earlier. You are so kind to share your happy experiences! Yao Wen