I think that is where I got stuck in therapy, I kept complaining about what was wrong instead of actively seeking out a solution. Sometimes it is necessary to cry about what was but it is more important to move past it. I think that is why my childhood experiences developed into a disorder. I couldn't move past the "complaining" stage into the "fixing" stage. I never learned how because I wasn't allowed to complain verbally so I was never shown how to fix my problems as they arose during childhood. My therapists tried to help me move past the verbalizing stage but the steps were always too big for me so it all seemed so daunting. They gave me the tools but I didn't know how to get them out of the toolbox and use them to fix anything. I am starting to figure it out now, but....mostly I am clueless.

Did I get off subject? Sorry.
Zen