hi LMO, thank you for writing back. i ain't worryed so much about looking tough. i used to be but that really ain't a big thing to me anymore i know its ok to be open with my emotions aspecialy to my family. what i am worryed about is that my son is to young to understand why i get like this. he is to young to tell the truth about my past and why i got some of these problems and i can tell that he senses something is wrong and is scared.