(((Have Hope)))

I don't have much to offer, but wanted to offer some support. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this around the time of your dad's service, and so sorry for that loss. There is just so much for you to deal with.

It sounds like you e made some decisions, and that's good. What you said about those lines that get crossed and you can never go back- I totally get that. You can't unring the bell, right?

Stay strong as you can. You don't have to put it away indefinitely, just until the time is right to deal with it.

(((Hugs))))