I have realized how sadistic, cruel, and uncaring people in my own family (and others as well) are towards me. I have been insulted and called names by them which hurt me a lot, they have deliberately excluded me from things which also hurt me, and they have left me in the same terrible position for years which has only made my situation worse. I understand now that none of these people ever cared about me. They are selfish, narcissistic people who only care about themselves. I regret all the time I spent around them and wish I did something else instead. I have wasted my life spending time with people who showed no concern for my deteriorating situation at all. None of them ever bother to try and help me. They just leave me isolated and alone. They never cared about how much any of this was hurting me. They don't care that I am in a living nightmare every day. They don't care that I am in a constant state of fear, anxiety, and terror. They just simply don't care about anything other than themselves. They have always shown a cold and heartless attitude towards me. That's why I don't consider any of them my family anymore and if someone asked me I would just say that I don't have a family. There is no reason for anyone to treat their own family this way. My heart is broken as a result of what these people have done to me.

I have also dealt with multiple other mental and physical health issues over the years and not a single person in my family showed even a shred of concern for what I was going through. Time and time again I was just given a cold and uncaring attitude. I always wanted to be part of a family where I felt cared for and loved but I guess that will always just remain a dream. I don't think I have ever felt loved in my life by anyone in this family, except for my mother but I have doubts about that as well. The people in my life whether family or not have left me alone for years and did nothing but sit back and watch as I became even more isolated and alienated from others. There was never any real attempt to help me or even just provide support. I am honestly not shocked by the attitudes of my family because they are the type of people that this country and society wants to create and those in charge have done a great job at making people act in these ways. People like me don't have a place in this world. I feel out of place and uncomfortable wherever I go because I see a lot of issues with this society that nobody wants to even address and it frustrates me. Things could be improved and made better but no one cares about anything I say. If there's one thing I've learned from everyone around me and the town I live in it's that nothing I say matters and nothing I do matters. Great lesson to learn right? Nobody wants to include me because I am different and I refuse to do things in the same way as everyone else. Even though I wanted to help others and make a difference it doesn't matter. People are so selfish and narcissistic that there's nothing I can do.

I know other people have their own issues and stresses but I don't see that as a good reason to turn your back on your own family. The pain that I feel from all of this happening will remain with me for the rest of my life. I feel very sad about things that happened in the past and I wish things could have played out differently. I have also been through a few traumatic events in the last few years but no one cares about how close I came to being harmed either. I got stabbed in my arm. almost got run over by a car in a crosswalk, and almost had a large tree limb fall on me. But no one cares. Life is cheap, if not worthless and this is supposed to be one of the better states to live in. I'll tell you right now it's not, and if you don't go along with the agenda of those in power you are going to be excluded and alienated from society just like I have. This is what they do to those who don't go along with what they want and it's wrong.