My ex husband charmed everyone too. Even my mother who couldn't bear the thought of a divorce, let alone the reasons for one. I set up a nanny cam to record arguments. It wasn't a legal thing, it was more so I could prove to my mother I wasn't crazy and lying about his verbal assaults and abusive behaviors.

All I know is that cycles don't break themselves. One or both of you need to do something to break it and it doesn't sound like it's going to be him. Wish you the best.