Thank you for the hugs slumberkitty, greatly appreciated and thank you so much quiet for your reply!

I am afraid I am not back with good news,
I was told to go back to my old psychiatrist because they believe it is more beneficial to fix ruptures (yes thats what they think it is) than to walk away from it and start anew so I will be starting with him again next month...

I feel really pissed off that I am the one paying for it but THEY get to make the decisions just because they are doctors! Pathetic...

Anyway I am feeling nervous about next month, maybe I can convince him to give me a termination letter or refer me out?

At least one thing... they agree I dont gave BPD and so does the Psychotherapist they asked to provide a second eval