I guess I am surprised as you were determined that you were definitely done this time. .

Then again, it is your life and your decision.. I will only say that the dance will not change unless and until you do something differently. We are the only ones who can change, we can't change another.

Whether you could have done better or are contributing to this, there are boundaries that he is not respecting. You are not abusing him, you are mistrusting him because of a past transgression that actually happened (+ he was the one who recently raised that issue with why female friends keep you at a distance) whereas he is abusing you and not showing much respect at all. Regardless of your 'faults' that is the key difference.