It sounds like he is still being mean but just not loud? One can whisper the most horrible thing to someone and the fact that he wasn’t yelling wouldn’t be important. Id probably be rather yelled at than called crazy and psychotic or what not. I am trying to be supportive as you said you are being abused. I don’t think it’s right to encourage abuse or minimize it. I can’t possibly praise him for not yelling and controlling his voice

Yet at the same time you state that he improved and is treating you better and in general things are good. Do you want support in how to leave him or how to stay or how to improve your marriage? What type of support would be beneficial for you? It sounds like therapists aren’t helpful so what would be helpful?