C, well I freakin' lost it this morning. So much for managing my stress lately. It all went out the window this morning for a bit. I tried to make a payment to a handyman we're having do some work for us and there was something wrong with the bank website i couldn't make the zelle payment work so i called him, told him & asked if he'd take a check, he said no, so I asked if h could bring him cash and he yelled at me about it! I lost it and started bawling and as I tried to say I'm so sorry, we're trying to fix this by h bringing you cash. And he just kept on yelling at me as if I didn't just explain that h was bringing him cash because the bank website is not working right now. H said if we didn't need him to finish what he started, he would fire him on the spot for treating me like that. I'd been doing pretty well with managing the stress we're under lately but this - I lost it. Why do people have to be so mean?? The bank website not working correctly is not in my control, I didn't break it, I can't fix it, and I certainly thought offering to bring him a full cash payment would be the best way to deal with it because he didn't want a check, but no, he just kept yelling at me until h took the phone away. So much also for thinking I'm over being triggered by being yelled at. I felt horrible. After we hung up the phone from him (doing all of this while trying to work, of course) I was able to calm myself down pretty quickly, called the bank and they said there's a hold on our account but he couldn't tell me why ??? h went over there and straightened it all out but... yeesh. I think the triggering was because this handyman guy reminds me so much of my dad so it was like when he yelled at me I was little Artie again in my head, being yelled at and cowering from it and waiting for the physical punishment that always came with it. That sucked this morning, C. It felt so awful that I want to call in sick for the rest of the day and go hide under my covers in bed.