With regard to Wernicke....

I have a family member who lives about a day's drive away. She used to be a social worker, then took an office administration job in her city.

I called her to talk about my family situation, knowing she understood confidentiality, and that she was removed from the situation.

There have always been issues, and mental health issues in our home. But the last two years have just been mind blowing.

I can honestly say it was at the start of COVID things really began to change. Two things happened. 1. I was home for a month, and saw just how "off" things were, and how absolutely little she did during the day. 2.After years of counselling, I began to think, "This isn't all my fault" and I began to hold her accountable for actions. And by accountable I mean, saying things like, "I know I should have shown more interest when you talked about your day. But in the time we talked, you never asked about me and my day at all." THAT would cause a three day fight. Saying, "When you take your take-out cup in from the car, can you throw it out instead of leaving it on the counter," caused a 5 day backlash. No lie - 5 days of anger because how dare I find fault with her.

Anyway, I called this family member. She listened. Then asked for specific examples. Then asked for examples of the memory gaps. These were often filled in with stories like, "you're saying those things to confuse me and manipulate me". Then the kids began having the same experiences. Our oldest got so frustrated one day he asked her to stop the car and he walked home. His mom hasn't even acknowledged it happened since.

My cousin went through this list of symptoms, to which I said "yes" to all of them, except the shuffling gait. Finally cousin asked, "RDM, does she drink? And, does she drink regularly and not eat much."

Cousin was familiar with Wernicke's and had seen it. I was floored.

I met with a lawyer yesterday. Because I have a history of supporting her and providing for her, the expectation in divorce would be that she could continue to receive a high level of support for the next 10-20 years.

What's that saying???? "Why is divorce expensive? Because it's worth it."

Anyway. big things happening.

She is angry as h*ll these days, just under the surface. LOTS of tension, but she is being a parent for the first time in a long time. Driving kids to school, going to work, keeping a regular schedule.

RDM