I’m sorry, dealing with someone that is an alcoholic is hard. It’s a very selfish narcissistic disorder. The person is typically behind when it comes to maturity and especially when it comes to dealing with their emotions. They drink to numb emotions as well as to pursue dopamine to feel better. However, as they do this they slowly destroy their brain’s natural ability to produce dopamine on its own. It’s not unusual for the result being these angry out bursts. A month of not drinking after years of abusing alcohol is not very long. Also the individual has to learn how to finally mature and work through their emotions and insecurities. That is why participating in AA along with therapy is important so the person doesn’t end up drinking again. It’s not easy to learn how to live life sober.

There is a lot of gaslighting when it comes to dealing with an alcoholic. The person can gaslight long after they stop drinking. They gaslight themselves and being involved with AA can help as others can see it and call it out.

The alcoholic has to learn who they are, never mind be much of a consistent identity in a relationship.