Having so much and so little, i don't know where i am or how i got here and most of the time i don't really care

I don't know.. something i find myself thinking too much. ideas of what i want to do but being held back.

I'd rather know exactly what was going on than constantly creating different outcomes in my mind.

Its tearing me apart, I've driven away those who wanted me just to try and bring myself closer to ones who don't.

My mind won't let me have what i want and isn't happy with what it gets. I'm not good enough to please myself.
It's affecting things i used to love so much.

If i can't do that how will i ever achieve anything. I second guess so much of everything i do. i want to be someone else

but also i couldn't bear to be anyone else.

Who will i be? i know it's my decision but if i don't agree how will i ever get there..