I am convinced my parents were/are toxic. I am now in my 50s and can't wait for them to be out of my life.

I am the oldest and yesterday my brother (Dave) came into town. (My whole life I always felt that they liked him more. Even both of my kids, when they were about 5 years old, they both looked at me and said "Gramma and Grandpa like Dave better than you!) Out of nowhere yesterday we were just sitting in the living room and my father pointed his finger and me and said, "I'm gonna tell you right now, Dave has first pick on your grand mother's paintings". I was like ok, whatever.

Once I said to my father, after he yelled at me " I always get yelled at for everything I do and everything is wrong. He repied, "Well, that because you can't do anything right!" Maybe 8 years ago, he tried to punch me in the face for no reason other than I came out of my bedroom and went into the bathroom. He yelled because I left my bedroom door open when I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes (And I had lived there for years and that was NEVER a problem, but at that minute it was). I then slammed my door and then he tried to break the door down. When he got it open, he punched me. I brushed it off as that's what happens when you live with your parents at age 40. ( I moved in with them after my divorce. In fact I stayed married for 6 years just because I knew if I got divorced I would be forced to live with them.

For years, my mom would give me evil looks when I would walk by. I would try to avoid eye contact at all costs due to it would ruin my day. She would stand right by the door as I left for work to get some mean comment in, basically telling me I did something wrong. I have felt better the last five year and at first didn't know why. Now, I know it's because my mother has dementia and she can't say negative or mean things to me anymore ( A plus!) Now, I only have to deal with my father.

He lets me live with him free ( I am finally moving out in a few weeks and I can't wait!), will hand my cash if I buy food for Thanksgiving, etc. Acts all nice to other people who think he is such a great guy. My entire life every time I ask him a question, it can be as simple as saying "did you go to the store today?" He always answers in a tone like "YEAH I WENT TO THE STORE TODAY!" all mean and with an attitude all defensive. He can't just give me a normal answer, it's mean no matter what. Sink was leaking once, it took me months to tell him, because I know I will immediately be blamed for it and yelled at, so okay, you can pay a high water bill then.

I have suffered from selective mutism as a child, panic disorder in my 20s, depression, severe low self esteem, bad relationships, etc.

I have figured out as a small child I was most likely yelled at everytime I said something, did something, showed anger, showed happiness so I just froze and got to the point I stopped talking. I have been afraid of everything my entire life to the point I can't do things.

Does he sound like a toxic parent? I am thinking rigid, authoritarian and maybe even slightly narcisstic?