He came into my room last night while I was trying to sleep - at least 3 times.

He kept trying to engage me in a conversation about us, and about the fact that he is a "good person". He is trying to convince me that he is not only a good man, but that he hasn't stepped out of the marriage again.

I don't believe his words. They're meaningless to me. From my shoes, if he can break one promise to me, he can break any promise he's made to me, so I don't trust him at his word anymore. I don't trust anything he has to say at this point. And I've been at this place before, during our first separation.

During our first separation, my gut told me he was lying through his teeth about his infidelity. And to this day, I still do not know if it became physical. He made several claims that just felt off-based to me, deep inside.

He got me to doubt myself, my own gut and my own perceptions because of all the gaslighting and the lies.

I cut him off last night and told him to leave my room. I couldn't listen anymore to the BS he was trying to spin.

I've allowed him to manipulate me. I allowed his manipulations to win over what my own true feelings really were. And my true gut, in my gut, I already knew he wasn't trustworthy,.