I do give love with all my might and it feels great to love somebody and care deeply about them and want them to be happy and doing well in life. That's about the other person. Giving love to them. Unconditionally. No matter what mood they are in, whether they are having a crappy day, whether they are sick or well, whether they are poor or not. It's not always a guarantee to love somebody unconditionally regardless of what happens that they'll return it the same. You can't force someone to love you if they don't. I gave that love, I still have it to give but it's not wanted nor is it returned anymore. This has left me with the firm belief that I will never have unconditional love given back to me. I'm simply unlovable in that kind of way no matter how much love I give with a free heart. The love I have is never ending regardless of circumstances. I do give love away with all my heart but it doesn't mean it's going to be received by who I give it to. And it isn't. It makes me very depressed when the love that I give with all my might is rejected. And it is. What am I now supposed to do with all this unconditional love I want to give with all my might that doesn't want to be received. You can't just shut off that kind of love like a tap. I still have it for him and I always will, unconditionally. But he now rejects it and I'm left with still loving him with everything I have and not knowing what to do with it. It's not the same kind of love that I could redirect and give to someone else, it's for him and him alone. Rejection and abandonment is a very horrible thing to deal with. If this is what unconditional love is always going to bring me, what is the point anymore. My love is for him. I can't make it stop even if I wanted to. It's killing me inside. I constantly wonder how he is physically, emotionally, and mentally. But not only is my love for him rejected, so is a friendship with him. I get absolutely nothing.

LOVE HURTS, IT HURTS BAD!!! I wish I could stop loving him and caring about his well-being but it doesn't work that way. It just doesn't. I'm totally heartbroken. Unrequited love. Unconditional. Unwanted. Rejected. Judged. Devastating. And yet I still love him with all my might and not knowing how he is doing is simply killing me. I'm not meant to have unconditional love. Unconditional is a very strong word and that's the kind of love I gave and still have to give him. Now I'm alone, so very much alone without his love. So you don't always get what you sow. I'm living proof of that. Things will never be different for me. I have no hope anymore. Absolutely no hope whatsoever. Without giving love, what's left in the world. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm wasted space and it's been proven once again to me. I don't know why I bother to even exist anymore. There's just no point. When the greatest gift you have to give is rejected...it's over. You're worthless, without any purpose to be here anymore. My life is mistake. I shouldn't even be here. I wish I wasn't. I'm nothing more than wasted space.