I get where you're coming from Have Hope. I've beaten myself up with guilt
pretty much my whole life. It is a paralyzing feeling. You found out you made
a judgement mistake. I m in the same boat but from the " opposite " side.
I'm the one who crawled back out of loneliness. It's not working out but not
because of me. I'm being gaslighted constantly. I'm not doing anything wrong
and if anything I'm too nice and appeasing. I'm paralyzed by fear of loneliness
and depression. Very disappointed. So just hang in there and try to just live in
the moment and not let your mind hijack your " mind". Emotion vs. Logic and Reason. Realize that your an individual who has needs , wants , and dreams
that can and should be realized.