The first part of accepting reality is to accept that you really want some things. Don't try to make yourself not want what you want, but rather fully accept that you do want it, and also accept how much it hurts to not have it.

The DBT therapy online (available for free- just Google it) is pretty good and what I used to begin to learn radical acceptance/ reality acceptance.

Also, recently I was reading the book Honoring the Self and it had a bit about this subject to. Something new to me, that I found interesting, was his process of naming your feelings. He has a method where you repeat a feeling out loud to yourself a number of times. Often just acknowledging the feeling/pain will lessen it. It has worked for me. It doesn't take the pain away completely, but there's something comforting about just being able to validate it.

(((Hugs))) to you.