I’m sorry a lot. It must be so hard.
Time passing helps but you already know this and I know that hear this now it’s no gonna help you.

Try to accept your pity. It’s normal what you are experiencing and you will have to go through bad moments and going through different phases of grief. Now, you are in the depressive step. And it’s the hardest. Maybe, it will take you a couple of months.

Each day, you are gonna be closer to cure your wound even when it’s not gonna completely disappear but you will be able to learn to live without him. Little by little he will be less in your mind to recall you his loss and more about recalling you good moments with him.
Take your time, cry all you need, and be gentle with you for doing it. Take also time to enjoy some activities you like to do as soon as you get energy to do them. It will be the first step of overcoming the loss.

I do understand what you are going through and it’s so hard.