You realised that you are unconsciously giving power to him? In every conversation by reproaching him how he behaves or making comments that gives him a reason to think you aren’t still firm in your decision to be separated from him.

It seems as you don’t still have things clear.
I do understand you though.

Let’s admit you are not still ready to make a choice. What about letting things calm down, engaging as less as possible in conflicts for now and get the support on a therapist specialised on trauma. Don’t rush or react. That makes you feel stronger for future decision-making.

Also, I would take in mind, always, that as much as someone may be mean to ourselves, in a two parties relationship, and much more, in romantic relationships, there’s always responsibilities on both parts.
I’m not blaming anybody, I have to make this clear, I want to mention what I think in general, and in particular ( from my own experiences). I’d always take into consideration the responsibilities on both parts to see the whole picture and a more accurate (objective) scene on what’s going on between myself and another person’s relation or communication. And when I say, responsibility, I use this term by its meaning, very far from guilty or blaming. Ok.

HH, I would accept what’s going on, I would change reactions and give myself the time enough to make myself clear.

In relation to your other post, about not lending him money to travel, whatever you could have done, it’s ok and understanding. Because it’s up to you, the boundaries you set. As long as this boundaries you set are not gonna go against your own well-being and principles.