I came to a realization today. I spend my life fighting off and fending off and trying to prevent bad things happening. Almost every second of every day- I'd say except when I'm asleep but I'm not positive that's true. I check if my doors are locked before I can leave and I've even gone back up the three flights of stairs to my apartment to turn my doorknob to make sure the door is locked. I've been in bed almost asleep when it occurs to me that possibly my car is unlocked so I go down in pajamas and check the door worried that someone saw me do this. Sometimes I get paranoid and anxious. These days I'm on Ativan so you'd think I wouldn't be anxious but my thoughts still can be thoughts. I just feel way way less bad. I guess this is a happy side effect of a med that's stopping my akathisia.