I was able to get a little sleep, which helped with the intrusive thoughts quite a bit. I was even able to muster enough energy to meet my mom at Sunday services (albeit in my sweatpants). Unfortunately, meeting my mom means I have to say hello to my dad.
I'll spare you the complete play by play, but he spent five minutes trashing my job (that I enjoy), telling me to quit and apply for his handpicked job for me as a trucker... or working for the trucking company. He went back and forth. Goes without saying, but I will not touch that job with a ten foot pole while my dad continues to push for it. I don't want to owe my livelihood to him. Principle.
Apart from a Zoom call with my PsychNP, my Monday is free. So, I'm going to the aquarium! Among other creatures, they have a Giant Pacific Octopus that I really want to see!
Tonight, I'll power up my PS4 and waste an evening playing video games. I managed to fix my broken controller, so I'm taking full advantage of the distraction.
__________________
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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