Moodyblues, your post is very relatable to me.

Not to go into great detail, but my husband has undergone changes which make him unrewarding to be around and spend time with. We are now much more like roommates than the once very close couple we were. It's sad, but unfortunately takes two to tango- in other words, I can only do what I can do, kwim? If he's not participating in a meaningful way, there is nothing I can do about it.

Of course if you asked my DH, he'd probably give the same story that you and I have. He thinks he's great and doesn't realize that he's unrewarding and even unpleasant to spend time with. I probably sound like your wife a lot of times. I'm not stonewalling him to be mean, I give vagueness to avoid his constant complaints, negativity, and self centered monologuing. He is unreceptive to talking things out in a way that is constructive, so we just exist here right now. I too feel like maybe all I'm waiting for is death because I don't have a lot of options available to me.

But CANDC is right, the grass always looks greener, but it may not be. It's important to center yourself first and foremost. That's what I'm doing right now, continuing on the path to self improvement. What can I do today to be a better person? Not what he should do (though arguably, he should be doing A LOT of things differently). I'm focused on things within my control - get healthier, take better care of my kid, learn and practice strong boundaries with everyone, clean up my belongings and space, etc. All things that have nothing much to do with him, but give me the opportunity to be better- because I don't know what the future holds and I'm trying to become the person I would want to be if my circumstances somehow improve.

I'm sorry for you though. I also crave being in a healthy relationship and there are times I'd rather just not go on than be here with a person who can offer no meaningful emotional support. Prayin' for both of us.