I feel for you. I was devastated during the demise of my first marriage - I had plans for the future that never materialized, like you, having a family. And now that I am going through a second divorce, I see it is for the best.

What I am doing is keeping busy with work (distraction), reading books I wanted to read but did not get to because I was the responsible party in this ending marriage, and am thinking about living a life without someone who is judging me every day and holds on to every word to just throw it right back at me.

I signed up for Meet Up groups in my area to do things I want to. I did not get to it yet, but I am going to sign myself up for cooking classes.

There is this group for women who do not have children - although I have not seen any men in there, I would presume they would welcome a male perspective - Watch the #NomoCrones as we discuss 'Childless vs. Childfree: Does Age Soften this Distinction?' [Recording now available] - Gateway Women

I really think that, for the most part, men and women going through these life changing events are the same (?). I am much, much better now, but the 6 weeks after going to a fertility clinic and realizing that the man I was married to would never support me... that threw me for a loop.

To be honest... the man I loved was my first husband... but after many deployments and him meeting other people... well... I was all too familiar for him.

I have met many people who have gone through similar situations as me and at first, I was flabbergasted by how similar (almost identical) the situations were as they related to mine. You are not alone!! As time passes, it may get better. Do I still thinking of my first husband every day? You bet. Some people (including relatives) thought I was an idiot for trying to stick it out. But you know what? I have no regrets in that I tried because that is what I wanted. But I had to let go...

I am considering looking for jobs in other parts of the country, changing careers, etc... The world is my oyster. I am psyching myself up to see opportunities as a single person. Many of my life dreams will go unrealized. But, perhaps, others I had never imagined will happen. Betty White was married three times!

I am so sorry about your situation. Sending you a virtual hug!!!