tfw i'm so useless at communicating even my therapist doesn't understand me

feels like pretty much the entirety of my therapy has been us having two very different conversations. i’m sorry for constantly having to clarify what i'm trying to say because it's not clear the first time. or the tenth time. i'm sorry for not understanding what you say. for asking you to explain things over and over again. it’s not because i don’t listen. it’s because i’m worried that i’ve misunderstood you, or that i’ve got it wrong, or that i’ll respond in a way that doesn't really fit the space in the conversation.

i imagine it's pretty frustrating for you. but please try to understand that it's even more frustrating for me. you only have to deal with it in the context of our therapy. for me, it's all the time everywhere in everything. it's like i'm always slightly out of time with the rhythm and speed of life.