Well, Not KILL really (probably).

But what if you feel like doing it? What if you feel so angry with him (and most people)?

What if he does not make it clear enough that he is not my mother, or someone like her, or what if he makes "mistakes" that lead to much turmoil for me? I know, Ts are human, but as far as I am concerned they are not supposed to make mistakes! At least not ones that are serious enough that they cause such heartburn for their patients!

Give an example, you say. Well, I can, but I am reluctant to do so, because you will say "That is nothing. Why do you bother with such trivialities? Are you crazy?"

Well, I am here, aren't I?

You will make me feel like leaving Psych Central...

Anyway: one example. I have told the T that I have the feeling that I did something in the past, that I can't remember, but it feels as though I did something really bad. He says I did not.

Usually at the time he says this it feels like an unsatisfactory answer, but I don't really know how to react to it. It does not solve the problem of the feeling I have. Days or weeks later the thing is still in my mind and I realize that HE COULD NOT KNOW IF I DID SOMETHING REALLY BAD OR NOT. Why is he "reassuring" me that I did not. Is it because he does not want to deal with the possibility that I did? He does not want to deal with me if he finds out that I did something bad?

This is just one example of something that I feel about mental health professionals in general: that they do not listen carefully; they do not WANT to listen and thereby they convey the message that THERE IS SOMETHING TOO HORRIBLE TO HEAR. Now am I reacting to something that is not there, or what?

I am having to figure out what to do when I react to something like this. Is the T a bad person? Should I find a better T -- yeah, how? Or can I make progress in spite of T's mistakes, even though they throw me for a loop at the time they happen?

Or is T totally correct and I am totally mistaken when I think he made a mistake?

Tell the T he makes mistakes? How do you think he will react to that? In a way that makes me deny my own thoughts, and withdraw even my perception that he makes mistakes... That kind of dissociation is typical of how my mind deals with conflicts of this kind... I hate it. People on the outside don't even realize that I am doing it. They do not see anything wrong. They do not pay attention enough or care enough to see what is happening. And then I get blamed for not being "cured" fast enough...

Enough of this whining... I am showing that I am afraid and you probably do not want to have fear brought to your attention...