(((justgiving))) (means hug here in pc)

let me first say that i am sorry you are going through this situation. it is a very difficult one, i know because i was in a marriage with a man who is controlling. it is NOT okay for your spouse to control your life. he is not your father, he is suppose to be your PARTNER. and by saying that he has abandonment issues is just providing an excuse for his controlling behavior. i know because i too made many excuses for my soon to be ex-husband. i am sorry if i am coming off to strong, but this hits close to home and makes me angry. it is not fair to you that you cannot go out without him becoming outraged. its his own insecurity that causes his outburst. it is NOT your fault. unfortunately we cannot change people. they have to be willing and must want to change. do you have children together? do you have any plans on addressing this issue probably through counseling or some sorts? i hope that you can do what you need to do for yourself so that your life doesn't become miserable. because after a while, for me at least, it became too overwhelming. and now that i finally asked for a divorce, i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. i've learned that no one has the right to take control of my life, either we are equal or nothing at all. hope whatever decision you make is the best for you and will make you happy.

-agony