I guess I've cycled through various phases of ptsd since being in combat. For years I was as angry as anyone could be, almost constant rage. And then all of that was completely buried and nothing angered me.

Since I've remembered details of csa and told about it here and since I've remembered and told some of the combat stories, the rage is pushing out a little closer to the surface again. I'm seeing some of the temper and anger on the surface. And inside, I just feel like I'm going to have to do something about it.

That anger is just kind of bubbling along right under the skin.

I seem to encounter the most stupid people in the world - bang - anger.

I run into highly opinionated people - bang, anger.

I hear the stupidity of our government - bang, anger.

I meet people with opinions based on BS - bang, anger -- how can they believe the lies they hear and make such uninformed opinions -- and then try to convince me ...

Maybe I'm returning to the anger phase of ptsd, or maybe it never left. I guess it is possible that I just put it away like I put all those csa memories away. Not even a year ago, I would have told you I didn't believe in "repressed" memories, and now I'm the victim of my own ignorance as these memories creep back out into the sunlight.

That period of anger and temper was pretty scary, so I hope this is just some kind of phase I'm going through, something not connected to ptsd. Maybe it is coincidental that this resurgence of anger appears following my telling the secrets.

Good if it is coincidence, but bad if the telling is elevating the symptoms of ptsd because I haven't even told the most miserable things yet. If it is at this level with the mild things I've told, no telling what it will be like later. Maybe I should just not tell any more.

T.