Maybe you are not ready to let it go.Not yet. I agree with you when you said that.I read my script ( the novel where the main character goes through my own experiences and feels what I felt) and while reading it I cried my eyes out and then I was ready to shred it.Like rollercoaster said it felt cathartic and I didn't regret destroying it .I was ready to let go of those memories I guess.Hope you will find a solution that suits you..Hugs.