i get where you're coming from Troy.. ive tried to be mindful of those same signs within myself as ive uncovered my own repressed memories.. i will tell you, in my opinion those feelings of pain and guilt and fear and anger are no doubt related to my resurfacing repressed memories of my own... it happens almost every time i read a post here at PC, so i have to be careful and makes me more appreciative of occasional laughter relief..

i think (for me), resurfacing the memories is necessary, otherwise i would have this just under the surface anger too.. i dont like that feeling much either Troy.. i know how dark and black it is.. how red it is when it explodes

reading others kind words at PC has helped me to realize i am not the only hurting individual on the planet.. ive learned from others strengths ...

i think its very beneficial to you that you are aware of the potential unpleasantnesses associated with the ptsd feelings you are having.. it gives you an edge in preventing its uncontrolled release...

i pray that in time you can experience a lessening of the intensity in feelings you now have... i hear in your words that you wish to live free of the horrible memories and a soldiers effort is what you are showing us...

you are clear and easy to understand.. your words carry the pain you feel, but you dont unleash... praying the best for you always Troy