Hey HaveHope, it sounds like it's rough right now.

I relate to a lot of what you post, most recently about having become isolated. It's weird how that just happens over time. I've never had good relationships with my family of origin, and his crabby attitude made our friends slowly pull away. You wake up one day and think - what happened here?

Not sure if you can relate to this, but as I've detached from my DH and his issues, he often times seems to be doing things that are an attempt to be provocative - for example, I walk by his chair and he's texting on his phone or looking at some article, and he will turn the phone away like he's being secretive. The first thing I ask myself now is of it feels like he's doing something to be emotionally manipulative. If the answer is yes, it makes it easier for me to insulate myself and not respond to it in any way. This can also be things like compliments or trying too hard to be friendly toward me- or even just being too pushy to engage. Basically anything that feels weird and not genuine. Anything that feels like he's trying to get something out of it. I realize that he may be doing a lot of things for his own sake, with no regard to me, but my reactions historically still make it something he gets that reward for in an emotionally manipulative way. It stinks, but I've found it helpful to think that way, to keep him in his place, and also keep me in my own lane.

Stay strong, I know its really hard.