Yep,writing just flows freely with out much conscious effort.I donot journal anymore.But I scribble sometimes whatever memory comes and then tear my paper and flush it down the toilet.Over the years I have processed my resentment,rage and anger.They have subsided somewhat.Now I am dealing with sadness and grief. It is difficult to process that people who are supposed to love ,cherish and protect us,caused immense harm to us.
I understand when you say you have changed.But be careful,he may sense the change and may turn more hostile towards you.Narcs do not like it when they suspect we are onto them. When they know that we know that injures their fragile ego.