I may join one, once he moves out. I am having a lot of trouble finding a new therapist, which I am really bummed about. I will keep trying, but it's proving to not be easy. What I really want is a good therapist who knows abuse and who can help guide me through the aftermath of all the abuse. Yesterday, I was really angry at him. I took out all my anger on him and dumped it on him, blocking him in the process. I know a part of it has to do with being angry at myself too, but a lot of my anger towards him feels 100% justifiable. I am indignant over his treatment of me and I am disgusted by his attempts to manipulate me and my emotions. He tries to control my emotions by provoking me to anger. I have to not let that happen.

Today I feel more at peace - though of course it's short lived since he comes back soon. Or, maybe I can still carry this feeling inside, knowing we are done and that I am leaving an unhealthy situation. It boosts my self esteem to know inside that I am choosing a healthier path for myself - and that getting out of abuse is the first step. Rediscovering myself is the next step.