Well, I did it. This morning I was supposed to go into my part-time job, and I got up and said "screw it" and quit. The time I spent in the hospital, when I had to call and explain why I couldn't be there, all I got was pressure on how I HAVE to be there all the time, how I HAVE to be available for nights, and weekends, how she isn't sure of my reliability anymore, how she has other people she can promote if I won't do this, etc.

Right now, I have too many HAVE TO's in my life to do one more for $6.50 an hour. I can't compromise my new job that pays alot more for her, and being told that there are other people to promote really didn't do alot for my self-esteem.

Then yesterday I tried to call my parents all day at home and on the cell. The home line was "busyed out" so all I got was that annoying beep, beep sound......and they didn't answer/return the cell phone calls. It also pushed me over the edge again because I knew that "Mary Alice had disappointed us again".

I finally got thru to them and when I asked if they were mad at me (geez I sound like I'm 5 years old), my mom made fun of my tone and said "are you going to be a good girl now"?

Point taken - punishment understood [sigh]. I screwed up again and paid the price. It seems like right now anything will shatter me into pieces and I hate that. It took so much effort out of me to stay in control during that time at the hospital - one more day and I couldn't have held it together.

Ahhhhhh, life is grand. And on top of it, Alex is sick with a cold which means he runs temps and I have to watch him so closely. Damn my promise to my T.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Mary Alice