The sun came out!!! It’s been six days! It got cloudy last Friday and then poured for four days straight. Yesterday it was still showers and just that nasty mist. It was all the rain we needed over the summer. And it was cold to boot. Today was sunny and 73. Perfect! Tomorrow will be the same. Saturday it will drop back down to average fall temps for NJ, low 60s. I have to get all my fall clothes out and see what still fits. I gained so much weight over the summer that I had to buy all new pants. I don’t think I’ll have to buy all new shirts, maybe just a few. Shirts are stretchier than jeans!

In any case I think I’m losing a little bit of weight anyway. We’ve been going to the gym 3-4 times a week for about a month now and besides that my job keeps me very active. Speaking of jobs I quit my second one on Wednesday. My last shift will be Saturday. I’m just not thinking clearly enough to be able to handle money. Plus I can’t remember where anything is and I don’t know where to put anything when I’m supposed to be stocking. AND I’ve heard through the grapevine that we are going to be open on thanksgiving and I guarantee I’ll be the one working! No way.

I know I’m not supposed to do this but I’ve cut the haldol in half. I’m too worried about taking it for much longer. I will watch for recurrence of paranoia and take more if necessary. But I think I’ll be ok for a little while if I can keep my anxiety down. I’m experiencing a lot of anxiety lately though. Generalized. Like I see my son falling down the basement steps or RS crashing his jeep. Just a lot of “worry thoughts” as my therapist puts it. That was happening before the haldol decrease though. I think I’m going to call my new pdoc’s office and see if I can get in sooner as a matter of urgency. Thing is I don’t even know the number! It was silly of me not to write it down with a clear label.

I hope tomorrow is another good day in class so I can end the week on a high note!