You sound very adept at the process of processing!

I have done some writing like that and immediately put it through the shredder. It's strange and amazing how putting it outside of yourself can be helpful, of course it has the tendency to come back a few times.

I am also struggling with coming to terms that people who were suppose to care for you, love you, and nurture you, may not do that. My mother was not nice. She said nice words then did very unnice things. I'm still trying to wrap my head around , and process, that she covertly worked against me in an intentional way.

Now, years later, the situation doesn't seem as different as I thought it was. Your warning is taken seriously. It's more that my perception and outlook have changed, but those do have the tendency to change other things.

((((Hugs))) to you.