The last few months have been pretty choppy with my T. She went away on vacation for a while which I had really hard time with. Then her father died soon after she came back. So she was off again. Then she got sick for a couple of weeks. And now her mother is not well and in hospital.

Last session also brought up some painful memories so that’s not great.

It just makes this whole process seem like a waste of time. Like I can’t trust it because I can’t trust life. None of it is her fault, I can’t fault her for it. It’s just hard.

Knowing these things about her make me worry as well, like what a horrible time she must be having.

It’s sucks. I don’t know how to deal with this all without her.