Hello zsofi: I see this is your first post here on MSF. Welcome! I'm sorry I'm only just now seeing your post. I do hope you're still with us.

I'm sorry you're having difficulty. I myself am an old man now. But I waged a life-long struggle with my own gender identity. (I'll spare you the details.) But, as a result, I feel as though I can sympathize with what you are experiencing.

Actually, I think @Yaowen offered you some excellent advice. Things such as gender identity and sexual orientation can take time to figure out. So I think, at your age, the best advice may simply be to try not to focus or become too concerned with what you are experiencing and see how things develop over the next few years. One's early teenage years can be a very confusing time. Yes, it is true some individuals just know what their gender identity and / or sexual orientation are from an early age. But for others it's not so clear. And when it's not giving it time to become more so is, I believe, the way to go.

Should you wish to pursue this further now though, my suggestion would be to check out a good transgender website such as "Transpulse". There's a forum on Transpulse ("What Am I? I'm Not Sure") specifically for people who are questioning their gender identity. You could join if you wanted to. But you wouldn't have to. You could simply read what others have written there about their experiences and perhaps gain some useful insight. Here's a link just in case you're interested:

Transpulse & TransGender Pulse Forums

My best wishes to you...