I went out last night by myself and talked to a cute guy. I initiated the conversation. We had a nice conversation, but he left after a while.

And I realized when I got home that I really need to learn to be alone. My typical "get over it" response to a breakup is to have a rebound man. I don't want to do that this time. I want to stand on my own two feet and just deal with being alone. I will join meetups or support groups when I am ready.

What I'd really like is a support group for narcissistic abuse. I worry that I am seriously damaged from all the abuse over the years. I don't have much faith in my own gut, or much faith in my judgement of people. I put myself down in my thoughts about myself, and I catch myself doing this. I want to heal and recover. I want to read, learn and grow. This is what I must do, not look for a rebound man.