When someone has experienced a toxic person, they have been repeatedly invalidated.

However, behaviors are not always black and white. Thank god there are individuals that have a desire to study and learn instead of just assuming and mistreating instead of understanding and helping.

We have been slowly gaining ground on understanding that not all human brains are wired the same. We have been able to identify behavior patterns that we lable. Some of which are dyslexia, adhd, autism, Aspergers, ocd, to name a few. All are reflecting certain types of brain wiring.

When I think of validation I think about a documentary that was made after many years of Yale’s study on dyslexia and how different individuals that have it navigate despite how their dyslexia challenges them making it harder to learn. My daughter has dyslexia and was a participant in that study. And when she sat and watched this documentary which explained the challenge and how it affected different individuals she wept. She sat and watched her personal challenges VALIDATED.

There is a tendency to make things black and white. However, the truth is that there is often a lot of gray. Important things that deserve consideration before quickly afixing a label and punishment.

That being said, what my daughter also was deeply moved by in seeing that documentary was not just validation but also finally experiencing witnesses to many challenging experiences. Sadly those who are ignorant are quick to condemn and punish.