Holy mackerel!

I do think he is on the spectrum. I brought it up and he was not bothered whatsoever - he was very interested in what I had to say.

Nonetheless, he still does things that drive me crazy that I have brought up before - years ago and many times. I realize there will be no change. I also realize about myself that I cannot live with someone who has the emotional support and emotional intelligence of a brick. My cat has a more healthy understanding of affection. This is truly bananas.

To the untrained eye, there are so many similarities between a narcissist and someone who may be autistic - at least, in my experience with my soon to be ex-husband.

Many months ago I stopped inviting him to go out and shopping with me - because I took him away from his family (not true), because he didn't want to go shopping because he found it draining, blah, blah, blah. Then, this morning, because I didn't want to go anywhere and instead stay home and read a book, he says that it's as always - doing nothing on the weekends. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I cannot win. Everything gets always twisted.

Now he wants to book events and buy tickets for the upcoming holidays - I had to remind him that it may be awkward because we may be divorced by then. It's as if it hasn't clicked. But it must have - we've been working on the divorce paperwork for months.

I can have normal conversations (give and take) with people at work - but completely unable to do that at home. It's been draining. I've told him this many times, and he has always blamed me. One thing I did realize is that his behavior changed considerably right after we got married - the same day, actually. As if he didn't have to make an effort anymore.