I am a people pleaser and I’m very good at it. The person that I’m not pleasing is myself. I don’t know the status of the relationships in my life right now. Neither do I care. I have a good friend who always tells me like it is. I can’t even turn to him right now. I’ve withdrawn too far into myself at this time. Am I safe? No. What I am is tired and weary. Tired of pretending. Tired of being the broad shoulders that everyone counts on. Tired of being the nice one. Always. If I could I would just leave and start over fresh out of state. Alone. I’m so very, very tired. I think some peace and quiet in the mountains will do me some good. I’m not going to meet M. I just asked to be left alone. A dark night of the soul for sure. I’m not taking anything that would not be in my best interest as I don’t trust myself at this time.

I’ll either work through it or I won’t. I’ll either be back or I won’t. I do sincerely appreciate all the support I’ve received here. I think as a group you are truly phenomenal. Please take care.