Willow, I understand you had bad experiences at another site that make you unsure of yourself, but this is not that place. Admin and mods here are fair. If you do something "wrong" they will have a calm discussion with you.
I'm going to use a personal example to illustrate my point. Many years ago I had a member on ignore. They said something that triggered me, I put them on ignore. They found a way around the ignore and kept trying to engage me. I was going batpoop crazy about their repeated attempts to contact me. I sent about eleven zillion PMs to admin and mods asking They do something. This all happened on a weekend. I got a response on Monday politely reminding me mods are all volunteers who might not be available on weekends. There was also a gentle suggestion that if I was being triggered by the site self-care would be to not visit the site for a little bit. No one yelled at me. No one banned me. No one suspended me.
Hon, I've noticed you've posted several threads worrying about you might "get in trouble" here for things that happened in the past at that other site. Would it help lower your anxiety if you reminded yourself that's not the way things are done at MSF?