I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time in your life. It may not seem like it now but it will get better and you will be a much stronger person because of this difficult experience.

When I read your post, I saw several similarities to my divorce that I have been going through for the past 4 months with my wife of 11 years (9 married). We have spent our adult life together. Growing from teenagers to adults together. We became best friends. We had our struggles over the years but I always tried to communicate with her and work it out. She never put in the same amount of effort. Long story short, 4 months ago she decides she doesn't want to be with me anymore and tells me she fell out of love with me. All the signs of the failing marriage were there and I saw them. Just didn't want to believe she would ever leave. She gave up trying and wants something different. She wants to go do whatever she wants whenever she wants on a whim. Those were her words. My wife also has no emotions. This entire 4 months has been a roller coaster and I haven't seen her cry since the day she said she wanted to leave. Truth is she left this marriage many years ago and I'm just now finding out. She's already been through all the pain and emotions. The emotional roller coaster you are going through right now, is normal. I experienced the same thing and now that some time has passed I'm doing better with the emotions. I had all the thoughts of jealousy of her maybe finding someone else and I still do. Imagining my wife with someone else is probably the most difficult feeling I've been dealing with recently. It's getting easier but these feelings are all normal. You will go through all of the stages of grief. There will be days where you feel like you're doing great only to be brought back into the dark hole a minute later. Do not let that dark hole consume you. This is the time in your life where you have to focus on you. Find a hobby, reach out to friends. My social circle is also very small due to pushing everyone away because I was comfortable with just my wife. It has been a huge change to lean on so many other people who you lost connection with. Do not be afraid to lean on people. Do not sit around thinking of what her future is going to be like and who she might meet. You said you are already looking into therapy. That is a huge step and a good start to focusing on you. I also feel as though my wife could use some help and she's not taking the time to process everything and figure out what she wants. It doesn't matter though. If they choose not to seek help then that is OK because it is out of our control and it doesn't matter anymore. She wants to move on and as hard as it is to accept that, you have to move on as well.

The things that have helped me the most is going to the gym, Journaling, hiking, walking, and therapy. Spending more time outdoors in nature has done so much good for me. Sitting and writing out all your feelings and thoughts in a journal will help clear your mind. Journal everyday if you can. Journaling has been so good for me to say things I should not say to her or talk about things I'm not comfortable saying to anyone else. Focus on you and try to change your perspective on the relationship. Find the positives. If you continue to work on yourself and improve yourself, and plan your future, everything else will heal with time. It's what you do during all this time that matters. Don't sit around beating yourself up. Focus on what you can control. I don't know your entire story but I hope sharing my experience will help you with yours. You are not alone in this and I can tell you from the perspective of a 11 year relationship that started right out of high school, it does get easier. You will make it through this. Keep your head up, stay strong, and focus on you.