I'm spiraling and I can't stop it on my own. Talking with my mom/brother/sil/sisters on Sunday, instead of helping, triggered me even further and I feel like literally all I've been doing is eating since that zoom call. There is not enough food in the free world to fill the emptiness in me so I really should stop trying. I feel myself sinking and I recognize where I'm headed because I've been there before and I don't want to go there again so I hope when I see pdoc he'll be able to prescribe something that will get me back to myself again.