This is a very dysfunctional marriage. I don't even think counseling would help. She sounds abusive. I think you have answered your own question - why stay? It's hell. I would get that bank account and storage unit and start looking for a new home, if you're the one to leave your home. Divorce - yes.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"
~4 Non Blondes
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