I've posted a lot before.

The woman I'm with now is not who she was when we married, or even who she was a few years ago.

I've torn myself apart, especially in the last 5 years, trying to get things right.

I've seen her mind and thinking change so much.

Things have been quiet and respectful here.

This morning she talked about something personal to her, and out of old habit, I cradled her cheeks and kissed the top of her head.

And emotionally, it felt terrible.

I loved her so much, and it's broken apart.

I have revisited and revisited stuff on here and in counselling for years, and I wouldn't change much of what I've done.

I'm mourning 20+ years of connection.

This really sucks

RDM