I'm sorry this happened Scarlet. I suspect it might be the lying that's most upsetting to you--I know it would upset me. I think, as others said, she may have been flustered and concerned about hurting you, so she figured it would be better to lie, not knowing you knew her car. So she wasn't doing that intentionally to hurt you, but was trying to look out for you.

Plus, like you said, she didn't know her H was going to be there, so couldn't have warned you in advance or asked him to stay away during that time. I suspect maybe she's a bit annoyed at him for being there and leading to this conflict.

I imagine it would also be difficult for me to see Dr. T's wife at his office. She did call during a session earlier this year when there was a tornado warning, and she wanted him to leave his office and go to an area without windows. He sat talking on the phone with her for a minute or two in front of me. I couldn't really hear what she was specifically saying, but got a sense of her voice. It was awkward for me, as it felt like she was intruding on my session--at the very least, Dr. T could have said, "Hang on, I need to take this" and stepped in the hallway.

I did talk a little at one point about why it bothered me, but I'm not sure he fully understood. So the fact that a phone call bothered me suggests it would definitely affect me if she showed up there, like if she was walking out of the office as I was walking in because she had to take something to him. I know what she looks like because she was a member of a Facebook group I'm in and I saw her profile picture (he knows this)--so that would be a case where if Dr. T was like "Maybe that wasn't my wife," assuming she doesn't have a twin sister, I would know he was lying, and it would really bother me.

Sorry, that ended up being too much about me. Mostly just trying to say I get why you had the reaction, both to seeing him (without any warning) and to L lying about it. I'm glad J was helpful, and I think you'll be able to work through this with L.