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I sure do understand how you're feeling, I think. My therapist of 3 1/2 years has fragile health and there have been periods of time when she was suddenly (absolutely no advanced notice) gone for up to 4 months. Zero contact between us during that long stretch of time.
No, it's not your t's fault, not is it her choice, when illness strikes. That said, it is also not your fault, nor your choice, to be profoundly and negatively effected by her unpredictable absences.
I have hung in there with my inconsistent therapist, but ohhh, it has not been easy! The good times are wonderful; the bad times are sheer hell.
I do suggest that you talk with your t about how you're feeling. That's important. Aside from talking with her, my only suggestion is to have a back-up therapist to see during the times yours is away.
I wish you well with it all. I certainly understand.
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